License To Wed…..

gay-marriage-is-loveAfter seeing post after post on facebook, and one in particular yesterday, where judges are refusing to perform same sex marriages, I decided to take action. I became a licensed minister in order to perform same sex marriages. Now I realize I may never be asked to perform any wedding, let alone a same sex marriage ceremony. That really wasn’t the point. I NEEDED to do something proactive with the rage I was feeling!

I mean, look I get it, if you are a Christian pastor you may not want to perform a same sex marriage. Frankly, you shouldn’t have to. It is hypocritical for a gay couple to try to force you to, when they want to be free to make their own personal choices.

BUT, when you are an appointed official, voted in to your position, are sworn to SERVE THE PEOPLE, and UP HOLD THE LAWS OF THE STATE/City/County YOU PRESIDE OVER, you have forfeited your “it’s against my religion” card. You are not operating as a civilian in that capacity, who is protected under the constitution, you are suppose to be upholding the constitution. Which includes the right to the pursuit of happiness,  an equal right to all.

Anyhoo, as I wrote and deleted, and wrote and deleted, post after post, trying to put into words the outrage I felt, without trampling on the feelings of others, I knew I needed to do something to get out of that mind space. So, I did what I often do when I need an emotion reset….I went to the spiritual side of things and had a “light bulb” moment! I would get ordained as a minister in order to perform same sex marriages!

Now, I get that seems confusing considering I am proudly Jewish, me an ordained minister?! What?! 😉 Let me explain….I am spiritual not religious anymore. In fact I think the world would be a much better place if all religion no longer existed. By the way, I am in very good company with some of my fellow Jews, who have done the same thing. As spiritual Jews we get that it is about loving others as ourselves, not doing to others what we find hateful. It also means to be proactive, changing what we can for the betterment of our world.

For me, that means, it is important to understand what I can control and what I can’t. Clearly I cannot get everyone to understand the hypocrisy of telling others they can’t marry the person they love, while they are snuggled next to their spouse. I cannot get everyone to educate themselves on what the bible they bang over the heads of others actually says and doesn’t say, let alone get them to educate themselves on the origins of said bible. I cannot get everyone to understand the hurt and damage they cause those who are a part of the LGBT community, and that they hold at least part of the guilt when one of them are beaten, murder or takes their own life. I cannot love them into understanding that hate begets hate.

It can be quite a helpless feeling. Wanting so much for people to understand that there cannot possibly be a loving God, who is vengeful, it just doesn’t work that way. Yet that is the god they are portraying to the world. But as I said, I cannot get everyone to educate themselves, as much as I wish they would. I KNOW it would change them and what they hold as “truth”. As a result the hate in this world would be gone. But I am powerless over others and I had to “accept what I cannot change”, change the things I can, and use wisdom to know the difference.

I can change the helplessness a couple feels who desperately wants to get married and is coming against opposition from those living in ignorance under the cloak of “it’s against my religion”. I can be a part of bringing people together in a legally committed union that they have a right to. I can be a light to those who are willing to listen, who are questioning what they have always believed. I may not be able to change the whole world, but I can change the world of some.

Shalom Aleichem,